The Perfect Sanguine

Shoes

2010-07-31T18:01:00.000-07:00

I'm not one to talk about fashion. In fact, my style consists of mostly jeans and T-shirts so I have no room to talk about what is "fashionable" and what is not.

One thing, however, is that I have a passion for shoes. I don't own many because I don't have the money for them but I love to shop for them and try them on.

In June I had a job interview and I went all out and bought a new outfit, including heels. It's my second pair of grown-up shoes and I just wanted to share them with you all because they're so cute!
Are these not super cute?

In case you are interested they are Chinese Laundry brand and I got them at heels.com for $34.99 with free shipping. Pretty good deal I think. That is all.

I've been a bad, bad blogger

2010-07-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

It's been about 20 days since my last post. The reason for this is because I haven't really had anything to blog about. I've been working and babysitting for some extra cash and that took up most of my time. I also had a birthday. It was uneventful, consisting of spaghetti and True Blood.

By the way, if I haven't already mentioned, I'm going to marry Alexander Skarsgard.

Anyway, I'm 24 now. I wouldn't say this is any kind of milestone--just another year. I did eat delicious chocolate cake, though, which made me quite happy.

Yesterday I went bridesmaid dress shopping. That was quite the experience. I can't believe that I'm old enough to have friends that are getting married, having babies, moving into HOUSES! I'm really happy for these people but it's kind of a slap in the face to me. I am not ready for any of those things. I don't even have a steady job enough to move in to some crap hole in the wall apartment or even buy a car. In this regard I feel like a complete failure but at least there's no pressure to do these things from the 'rents.

Now that I've depressed myself and everyone else, back to the dress shopping. I have a small frame. I mean that I wear a size 00 in American Eagle pants and they still fall down a little. I'm not sickly or emaciated, I've just always had a fast metabolism (which I hope slows down eventually).

So I'm trying on these dressed and they are all sample size, so I'm guess it to be about a size like 8 or something and it's just falling down. I get clipped in by the brides sisters but it still looks like it's floating on me. I found this quite hilarious because just looking at myself in the mirror with these huge, thick dresses is not something I ever imagined doing.

I kind of wish I took pictures cause it was quite a scene.

Eventually, the bride picked a dress we all looked pretty decent in despite our different body shapes and sizes. I have to say I am quite pleased with the outcome.

Final note: I've been reading all about SD Comic con and I'm so jealous I didn't get to go. Especially because Scott Pilgrim is coming out soon and I can only imagine how much loot they had there. If you haven't read the Scott Pilgrim books you best get on that cause you won't regret it!

Gym crazies

2010-07-07T08:48:00.000-07:00

If you've read my previous posts you know that I work at a gym. I'm not someone who has ever graced my presence in such an establishment so it's kind of funny that I find myself there a few times a week. I've made many discoveries about the unknown world of "the gym" since my time there and I would love to share one with you.

I work with this kid who's just about 22. He's very cynical and seems depressed. I think that's his way of getting attention because he makes jokes when no one is around and his persona does a complete 180. Evidently he talks a lot about "banging chicks while looking at myself in the mirror in the back" and other things he thinks all guys talk about.

My coworkers and I have a theory that he's actually a really nice guy deep down but when thrust (heh) into a crowd of people he acts like a jerk because he thinks he has to.

Okay. Now onto my discovery. Knowing all this about my coworker, he has an obsession with his body. It's really disturbing. The first few weeks I was working I heard him tell one of the receptionists that he wants to get so big as to not be able to wipe his ass. What? This is on your list of goals? Seriously?

Funny thing is is that he's not the only person whom I work with that has this goal. I never knew these people existed. I mean, I've seen body builders who have a distinct goal in mind but these young guys (I see a lot of freshmen in HS there, too) are going to the gym in order to not wipe their ass? Ew.

I think it's a good idea to be healthy and work out to stay in good shape so you don't fall apart but you have to draw a line somewhere.

The particular guy I was talking about earlier always complains that after his workouts that he still has "pussy arms." Things could really be worse. Just because you're not Arnold Schwarzenegger does not mean you've failed in life. In fact, I say you've quite succeeded.

Happy birthday...to my cats.

2010-06-29T10:44:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to say other than the fact that today I am celebrating the 1st birthday of my cats.

Yes, this does make me crazy. Yes, I realize that all who are reading this might view me in a slightly different light. No, I don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks. I love my cats. They are my children so they deserve the best.

I searched the internet trying to find a recipe for a cake that can be made out of materials suitable for a cats stomach. Unfortunately, they all contained fancy feast and garbage like that, too harsh for their little stomachs. Instead, I have opted to boil them some chicken breast and break it up into small pieces for them to enjoy with my sister's cat.

I'm a loser. I know. Re-reading this kind of makes me second guess the way I treat my cats but considering I don't plan on having kids I might as well focus that energy into something productive.

My cats are selfish and I've made them that way by insisting they sleep with me, and spoiling them with automatic laser toys (that thing rocks, I don't care what anyone says!) and cat nip.

Here's to Jonas and Katchoo. May they live long, spoiled lives and be as happy as I can make them!

It's Friday, we should break up-Forever 21 and all stores modeled after it

2010-06-25T11:41:00.000-07:00

Every time I go to the mall with my sister she is always taking something back to Forever 21. Always. She doesn't try on the "cute dress she had to have" in the store and she winds up having to trek the 35+ minute drive back and return it.

Not only is this a pain but they don't even give you a good refund. They only give you store credit so this vicious cycle continues for weeks. Really? Your shitty clothes never fit her or me the right way and you refuse to believe that nothing in your store will please us? Believe it!

I bought this shirt there one time (and one time only) for $7. Not a bad price but after leaving home with it an attempting to wear it I realized that it was like a tent for my little body. At that point there was no good reason to take it back because of the aforementioned reason.

My sister, on the other hand, goes in there, buys maybe 3 items with all the faith in the world that it will work out. Oh, sister, you're fooling yourself.

The last point I would like to point out is that Forever 21, Wet Seal, and all those other stores have the most messy set-ups I've ever seen. Who wants to go digging through piles of clothes on the shelves, racks, floor, bins etc.? I have no patience for this.

Get a better refund policy, clean up your stores, and stock some clothes that fit more than one type of body and I might reconsider you in the future.

Daycare Hell

2010-06-23T10:02:00.000-07:00

As you will notice from my previous posts, I have gotten a job at a Cardinal Fitness. At first I thought "what an easy job, I can just sit back, relax, and watch children play quietly." I was stupid. Really, really stupid. Not only can I not sit for more than 30 seconds at a time, I have to wipe the snot, clean up puke, constantly run around picking up toys, and break up fights.

I never had a major problem with kids, but this has just set me over the edge. Some of the parents bring in their kids with disheveled clothing/hair, barely presentable for their front yard let alone a public place.

I have to say that yesterday really iced the cake. This mother brings in her two kids, one is 3 and the other is 6 months. The 6 month old had old puke all over his left shoulder, his car seat was covered in rotting milk and she didn't even bring a change of clothes for him. Dude! If your kid is a BABY you're a complete imbecile if you think they'll stay clean for longer than an hour! I proceeded to try and get the mother to change her kid but one of the girls I work with told me not to bother because she's tried to do the same thing but just got ignored. Seriously? This is your kid that you decided to create and now you won't clean up its mess? Hell no.

I spend the rest of the HOUR AND A HALF he was in there by trying to direct his puke-laden onesie in the opposite direction of my shirt and trying to convince myself that I didn't smell like his vomit.

I would like to say that this won't happen again but tomorrow is a new day filled with all sorts of potential.

Passing gas

2010-06-23T09:28:00.001-07:00

This topic is always big when talking to my boyfriend Sn4tch (yes, I know, but he claims this name comes from the movie and nothing else). We have been together for almost four years and he refuses to fart in front of me. I, on the other hand, take it upon myself to announce it to him right before I do so even though I don't make any noise so I have no reason to warn him (classy, right?).

I find this hilarious because, oftentimes, he falls asleep on my bed and he can't help but start farting. There is nothing to stop him so I laugh and laugh. When he wakes up he denies everything, but I know the truth.

I don't know about anyone else but after four years of being together you would think he would just get over the whole gas issue. There is so many worse things he could do like leave the bathroom door open when he goes in there to do his business, yet I feel that he would do this before farting in front of me.

Perhaps I'm the weird one, always advertising my gas when I used to be the girl who denied ever doing such a disgusting thing.

I got a job, yo!

2010-06-23T09:27:00.001-07:00

I got a job. YAY! All right it really sucks and I'm not going to make any money at all since it's only like 13 hours a week. That sounds so pathetic but I am beyond being picky right now and I will take what I get.

It's funny because I got a job at a Cardinal Fitness and never in my life have I worked out for fun or because I felt the need to be "in shape." I was worried about the smell before I went to my interview because I see the incredibly steamed up windows every time I drive past but, to my utter surprise, I found that it's actually relatively pleasant there.

My job will consist of watching little children while their parents sweat off their calories. I can basically make them watch a movie while I catch up on my latest Sookie Stackhouse novel (which I recommend that everyone should buy).

I will definitely keep you all posted on any new job developments.

Job Hunting

2010-06-23T09:25:00.001-07:00

As most of you have figured out (by reading the obvious "about me" on this very page!) I have graduated college and have had no luck finding a job. It's been almost two months of my unemployment and I have been going crazy. I think I've applied to over 70 places and have heard back from two. I sure picked a good time to graduate, huh?

Anyway, I went out with Sn4tch yesterday to find a job. He's also unemployed because he was laid off in July and has had no luck find a job either. This really builds my confidence! I live in a town of about 22,000 people with commercial buildings going up more and more every year. We decided to start at my end of town and go through 2 other towns until we got to the highway and apply to every place we thought would be an acceptable place to work at.

This consisted of me going to about 10 places, looking forlornly into the employers eyes and asking them if they were hiring. I got a whole bunch of "no's" and a few "maybe's" and called it a day. I wound up officially applying at two Cardinal Fitnesses and that's only for a couple of hours a week. Yay.

My life really sucks right now. The only upside to this is that I can read all the books I want until the employment fairy gives me a call to tell me that the most perfect job opportunity has come up and they want me!!

Bottom line is is that anyone with an English degree who wants to go into publishing and not teaching (imagine that!) is screwed. The only comforting thought I have is that I am not alone and that no one can stay unemployed forever. I will take any advice I can get on how to get a decent job because at this point I am pretty desperate.

TMI Thursday- I really shouldn't be all that surprised...

2010-06-23T09:24:00.001-07:00

Tonight I was sitting with my sister talking about True Blood, which I am really obsessed with at the moment (I'm even reading the books while I wait for season 3 to start), and she make the most disgusting comment. While I was sitting at the computer watching youtube videos of Alex Skarsgard (what? you know he's beyond good-looking)when I asked her if she would smell his dirty underwear.

All right. I know that's really gross and not something you would say in an everyday conversation, but I'm not your everyday conversationalist. I ask the weirdest things sometimes, you'll get used to it. My sister decided that I asked that question to gage if I would admit that I would. In all actuality I probably wouldn't..but who knows?

Now here's when I get to the good stuff. My sister looked me dead square in the eyes and said "I'll bet that you would lick the dried cum out of his underwear if you got the chance." Oh man.

There is a line that I do not cross, especially when I am talking with my sister who I will always view as little girls even when we're old and gray. You can only imagine my horror when this comes flying out of her mouth.

Little sisters should not have that kind of vocabulary.

V-Day: Great Success!

2010-06-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

Last night Sn4tch made me dinner. It was the first time in all the time we've been together (almost 4 years) that he had ever attempted such a thing. All in all I was quite impressed.

We started with stuffed mushrooms that was unlike any stuffed mushroom I've ever had. Instead of bread crumbs and seafood it was filled with cream cheese that had all different spices in it. I ate about 4 of them which is a lot for me. I probably could have just ended the dinner with that because I loved them so much, but dinner progressed. Next he made this breaded chicken with Dijon mustard in the marinade. I am surprised that the chicken was cooked all the way because anytime he tries to make something that does not get unwrapped and put into the over I have to help. This was completely edible and completely delicious to say the least.

The most complicated part of our dinner was definitely dessert. He had told me that if it didn't taste like cheesecake then he failed miserably. He made an Oreo cheesecake. He even made the crust--didn't even think to use the pre-made kind you can buy at the store. This is where my mouth had an orgasm. It was so good, I couldn't believe that he, never making anything let alone a complicated dessert, pulled it off.

Now that he's shown off his hidden culinary skills I think I will have him cook me dinner more often. I wonder what other kind of hidden talents have been under wraps these past 4 years...

Bingo lovin'

2010-06-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

For all of you who are not aware, I'm one of those people who go into the bingo on pogo and play a few games..cause my life if boring and I have nothing better to do. Lately I've been going into the same room and if you're a consistent player you tend to play with the same people.

I'm not one for talking a whole lot but the older ladies that are in the room with me are friendly and I'll say "hi" to them whenever I come in. I don't spill my personal business to them, and I don't care enough to get into their personal problems/drama...until now.

There is this lady on their named Kim. This is not her user name so I don't care about using her real name. She's in her mid-forties and will sometimes play bingo for 10 hours a day. Yeah. I know. She's really friendly with all the regulars and will make small talk with me. All is good.

One day this man named Garry comes waltzing into the room. He's a paraplegic who lives in the hospital most of the time because of complications with his spine. He also lives in Scotland and types his accent. Like "I cannae decide what ta have fa dinner." Ummm, okay. This makes me believe that he's a fake Scot, but that's besides the point.

Kim and Garry got to talking one day while I was WORKING like SHE should be doing, but I digress. Evidently, she and Garry had this deep conversation and realized that they were in love with each other. After 3 days!! Who does that? First they are on the internet and second, 3 days?! Maybe I'm the crazy one here but I think that's moving a little fast, don't ya think?

Anyway, I told Sn4tch this and he was sort of interested. But then I wanted to show him their interactions on the pogo chat which really made him laugh. All the "honey" and "baby" talk really made me want to puke.

But wait. It gets better. I wanted to show him how they changed their pogo profile information to say "happily in love" and all that crap. This is when I found out that they weren't just dating, they are now engaged. After 3 days!! And she lives in Canada and he's in Scotland!! Again, am I the crazy one here? They're in their 40's so you'd think they would know the smart and logical way of doing things.

Internet relationships like this are no good. I can understand going on Match.com or something and dating someone and then getting married but in a bingo chat room? C'mon people.

TMI Thursday- The Accident

2010-06-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

So, what better way to get to know me better than by reading a story about me that you probably could have lived without? My thoughts exactly. I will, however, warn all those males out there that this is a story about my period so you may want to skip this one.

A few months ago, on a terrible Wednesday night, I had to drag myself out of bed in order to go to my 5:30 Hypertext class. This class was only once a week so no matter how I was feeling, dead or otherwise, missing a class was a big no-no.

I hastily brushed my hair and gathered all my things and made the trek from my room to the building my class was in.

As a side note I will mention that my class is on the 4th floor in a building that has been getting renovated for the last 2.5 years. Some of the classrooms are still off limits as are most of the bathrooms. This will become important later.

I trudged up the 3 flights of stairs and finally reached the room and sat down to catch my breath (I am WAY out of shape and a tiny little thing so these combined don't help me when I am climbing an enormous amount of stairs) and came to a realization:

"Oh my God! This can't be happening now! This class is THREE HOURS LONG and I came completely unprepared for this occasion. What am I going to do?"

What I did was sit there quietly with a strange look on my face. I really hope no one thought I was constipated cause that's probably the look I was giving.

Class just started so there was nothing I could do except to "think happy thoughts" and hope for the best.

At around 6:15 (I know this because I was watching the clock like a crazy hoping that my desperate stare would somehow fast forward the time) we broke into groups to discuss the book we were reading.

My group: We should just go next-door and "discuss" in there
Me: YES! That's a GREAT idea! (Maybe I can sneak out and use the bathroom!)

So we left and I grabbed some quarters and rushed next door. My first attempt to use the bathroom was a failure. There was a creepy janitor who all but freaks out at you if you ask him politely if you could use the facilities while he is in there doing his work. Seriously, he KNOWS that there are classes going on and that there are only TWO working bathrooms in the whole building, so what's the big deal?

I panicked and decided to wait a few minutes to see if luck was on my side. It wasn't. I got to the machine in the bathroom and it was completely empty. Why in God's name would my college provide tampon machines in the bathroom only to keep them empty at all times? Because they knew a situation like this would happen and hilarity would ensure, I suppose.

In my dire need for a tampon I decided to rush to the first floor bathroom, while my classmates were supposed to be discussing. I finally get there and find a machine that isn't empty. I shove my quarter in the slot for the tampon and find out that it's jammed.

"WHY is the HAPPENING to ME?!" I literally say this out loud, not caring if anyone heard me, I was distressed!

I try to calm myself down and go for a pad, which I despise, but I need SOMETHING. I put the quarter in, turn the handle and NOTHING HAPPENS! I should have known. Everything else went south so why should this be any different?

I was defeated and decided to use the old TP route. I had to do something, afterall. I couldn't just get up and leave to go back to my room.

I rushed back up the 3 flights of stairs in embarrassment. By this time we were wrapping up the discussion and reconvening.

After our little chat my instructor let us out for a bathroom break but before doing that he looked right at me and said

"But some of us don't really need it because they spend the whole time in discussion in the bathroom."

Kill me now.